No need to be exotic
Or even erotic
Much less neurotic
The system knows perfectly well
how to operate
masticate, disgesterate,
constipate, defecate,
cogitate and empathate
calculate and masturbate
lungs inflate and then deflate
circulate and flatulate
speculate and urinate
flagellate and obstreperate
meditate and medicate

Nifong

A prosecutor named Mike Nifong
Found himself hoist by his own Thai thong
   He called the Duke lacrossers apes
   And made other nasty japes
But it turns out he had those guys wrong.

I like her hands

I like her hands
I like her nose
I like her legs
I like her toes
I like her butt
I like her bodice
I lover her all over
My domestic goddess

Iraq

The Iraqi freedom fi..., um, insurgents have got some nerve
To resist pacification with such unstinting verve.
Some believe in violence and are going to flaunt it.
Can we force peace on folks who really don't want it?

We're trying to give them democracy
By establishing an approved aristocracy.
Do we really think that through military scrimage
That we'll manage to remake Iraq in our image?

If the Trix bunny dressed out in desert camo khakis,
We might say, "Silly Rabbit, Iraq is for the Iraqis."
Preach me not about honor and all that jive.
Support our troops: bring them home alive.

War on What?

It seems to me to be in error
To think that we can make war on terror.
Terror is a tactic used in war,
So a war on terror is fighting fahr with fahr.
Seems like that could make an awful mess.
Seems like we'll get more terror, not less.

Every day in every way
I'm more full of it than yesterday
But that's okay
Cause I like myself anyway.

Motion is all that there is
All there is is motion
I'm a wavelet on the face of the deep
A ripple on the ocean

Vegetarian Counting

Eating meat is death for one
First you're here, then you're gone

Eating meat is death times two
First it kills the animal,
Then it kills you.

Eating meat is death times three
First it kills the animal
Then it kills me
Then it kills us all environmentally

Eating meat is death times four
Animal, diner, butcher, more

Eating meat is death times five
Nobody will be left alive

Eating meat is death...